How Do You Feel About Valentine’s Day?
Valentine’s Day is charged. It is a day enthusiastically celebrated by young children eager for frosted cupcakes, cookies, and stacks of cards from their classmates, hoping for a special one from their crush. But how much of our adult dating confidence, or lack thereof, stems from those early school parties?
From a young age, some effortlessly attract romantic interest, while others feel invisible. Most kindergartners look forward to school parties, fully expecting to be welcomed by their classmates as easily as they are by their families.
However, in adolescence, we can make decisions about ourselves that can last a lifetime!
Here are a few examples:
I’m attractive/unattractive.
My crush doesn't know I exist.
I’m confident/terrified in my ability to talk to people I like.
Letting people know how I feel about them is scary, especially if I have a crush.
I despise parties and feel anxious just thinking about them.
I love people and look forward to every party I get invited to.
I’m popular and easy to like.
I don’t fit in / I’m too different.
I find friends, including crushes, everywhere I go.
I’m not pretty/funny/fit enough.
Opportunities abound, and people really like me.
I invite you to think about your childhood experiences with Valentine’s Day parties, and other social events.
What decisions did you make about yourself? I was always the new kid in school, and I dreaded Valentine’s Day because I felt invisible. I wasn’t bullied or ridiculed by classmates, but nor was I included. I was far too shy to talk to boys, which didn’t in any way stop me from wishing they would send me a special Valentine.
Energetically, I felt rejected, but still longed to be noticed. Talk about catabolic vibes! If life is a giant mirror, and it is, what kind of dating experiences do you think I had?
I attracted quiet men who would break my heart over and over again. It was the perfect setup for me to do my healing work… except I had no idea that healing work even existed.
What beliefs are being reflected back to you? Who are you attracting in the dating world? If you’re in a long-term relationship, are you happy? Look at the pattern of relationships you have had and get curious about the energy you must be putting out.
Can you laugh at yourself? Most of our beliefs about how we show up and who we attract go back to elementary school or younger. I easily laugh at myself, with a generous dose of compassion, because my little self was such a scared little kid she had absolutely no idea that she had any value at all when it came to dating. I was 35 before I was in a relationship that lasted longer than six months. I had some powerful beliefs operating! You do too. Who have you attracted, over and over and over? What does that tell you about your sweet younger self? What was she living with? What were her thoughts?
The good news is that you are not destined to keep repeating patterns that hurt.
You are not consciously making choices that lead to pain, but only 5% of our lives are coming from our conscious mind. The unhealed wounds we’re all working to heal, are rooted in the subconscious mind. Heal those wounds, change your energy, and everything about life – including partnerships – change. When you change, they change.
You are the most spectacular Valentine ever created! You are an expression of the Living Life Force we sometimes name ‘God’ or ‘Source’. You cannot not be lovable because you are Love. I know that’s terrible grammar, but it’s intentional. If you’re having painful experiences in relationships, you’re not thinking you’re lovable – you’re thinking you’re not lovable. I’m here to assure you that’s not possible. How can love itself not be lovable?
You are easy to love! In all of time, across all dimensions of space, there will never be another being exactly like you.
I have had the honor of witnessing people awaken to their value, leave abusive relationships, and find lasting love with healthy people willing to do their own work. When you believe it’s possible for you, it will happen. If it can happen for me, and it did, it can happen for you.
If you’d like to explore your relationship patterns, schedule your free consultation session and let’s get curious about how you’re getting in your own way.
